Honest Movie Reviews from a Life Long Horror Fan. Each movie is reviewed immediately after viewing.
Breaking the Beauty of Evil
Posted: 12 Apr 2015
Viewed: 1.1K ¦  Comments
Category: Articles
Breaking the Beauty of Evil

One of the things I need to point out about this reboot of “Evil Dead” is that it’s.. UGLY.. Very Ugly. and that’s ok.

In the last decade, or so, Hollywood and the Anime genre decided to make demons and monsters more about sex appeal, if you can believe that. Let’s take a look at some examples..

Handsome Evil:

  • The Dark Priest (aka Pinhead, from Hellraiser)
    • This is one bad-ass dude. He is the Lord of the Cenobites  a demon of hell who can summon up chains with hooks to tear your flesh apart.. but look closely. Under the pins, this is actually a very handsome man, his demeanor is calm, he’s actually very polite (in a dominating kind of way).
    • This actually plays into Clive Barker’s vision of the world the Cenobites dwell in – a world of experience and flesh. Lust in its darkest form. You know this man will destroy you.. but his mannerisms and good looks draw you in.
    • The weird thing is.. he’s not as pretty as he was described in the original story!
  • Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)
    • He’s got it all. Money, good looks, a great job – and an ax around the corner waiting for the unsuspecting.
  • Hannibal Lector (Silence of the Lambs)
    • Let’s look at the psychology here.. We humans are quite comfortable believing we’re on the top of the food chain. Not a day goes by that you actually have the thought “Well, at least I’m not going to be eaten today”, right? Well, here comes Hannibal Lector – Cannibal. He’s a proper gentleman, freakishly intelligent, well read, well spoken – and will eat your liver with a nice Chianti.

So, what do these men all have in common? They’re chick magnets, on their own level, that the average guy will never live up to. Let’s check out the ladies, shall we?

Sexy Evil:

  • The Succubus from V/H/S
    • Doe-eyed with a perfect body – a bit naive and shy on the outside.
    • On the inside, a winged monster that’ll rip out your heart and eat it while you’re still in the thralls of passion with her.
  • Ginger (From Gingersnaps)
    • Teenaged girl, coming of age – red hair and perfect skin, except for the fur.. and claws.. and OH SHIT, what am I sleeping with??
  • Shuna Sassi (Nightbreed)
    • Even with the presence of her quills.. Shuna’s very attractive, and I’m sure if you were actually on her good side, she’d be a fabulous lover and friend – if you can get past her porcupine-esk appearance. She’s strong and seductive and yes, makes you want to touch what you know will hurt you.
  • Julia (Hellraiser)
    • “She’s got no skin, I mean.. No Skin” – and some how.. that’s alright.
    • Once more we see a female “monster” (like Shuna Sassi) who’s appearance should send us screaming into the night.. but some how, her strength and sexual charm lure men in
  • Dark Elves (Gaming)
    • Look at the Dark Elves (and Drow) from MMO and RPG games.. dark, sexy, just built for sex
    • by the time you realize what you’ve gotten into, it’s too late.

Sex Appeal. and something that tells us “I’m dangerous, get the fuck away.. run.. quick” – but some how we just cant.

Innocent Evil:

  • Damien Thorn (The Omen)
  • Henry Evans (The Good Son)
  • Gage (Pet Semetary)
  • Charlie McGee (Firestarter)
  • Claudia (Interview with the Vampire)
  • Samara Morgan (The Ring)
  • Isaac Croner (Children of the Corn)
  • Just to name a few.. In Hollywood, evil can hide behind the face of the innocent.. Why, no harm can come to us as long as we have their innocent children here, right? WRONG!! Damien is the Antichrist!, Henry is a budding psychopath, Gage is an undead killing machine, Charlie can summon up fire!, Claudia is a bloodthirsty vampire, Samara is evil evil evil and Isaac’s made a deal with “He who walks behind the rows”!
  • FYI – Miko Hughes was only THREE years old, when he sliced up Fred Gwynne, in Pet Semetary.. making him the youngest horror movie villain (to date).

Evil Dead: Bringing Ugly back to Evil

  • There is NOTHING sexy about the girls from the Evil Dead, once they’ve been possessed.
  • Rotting, Lacerated, Vile and Vulgar.. this demon makes no bones about what its intentions are and does not need sex appeal to kill you. And that’s perfectly fine. Of course, the only issue is.. you can’t escape. The bridge is washed out and “The Abomination” has taken hold of the forest – there is no where to go, no where to hide, and what’s trying to murder you and your entire circle of friends, now resides in the body of your little sister.

Much like Regan in “The Exorcist” – the evil presence twists and distorts. You know who your enemy is, and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it. I also appreciate this in the Lovecraftian subgenre. The demons arent here to seduce, they’re evil and they’ll take what and who they want, driving you insane with their unnamable and unspeakable selves.

I can honestly say that.. once the girls in Evil Dead were possessed. Not Once, did I think to myself.. yeah, I’d still have a piece of that. Nuh Uh.. NO WAY

~ Oh my God, can’t they at least try to have sex with us before hacking us to pieces?? NO, FUCK YOU.

I wont even get into the Twilight Vampires, because they’re so fucking ridiculous that no one took them seriously. and I know someone’s going to bring Ester (The Orphan) into this.. but she wasnt a kid.